i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
the liver wants what the liver wants
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
