You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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