Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
