Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
