Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
These tits shall not be calmed
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