I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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