everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize