i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
