I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
