Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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