I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
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