Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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