Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
