so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
sarcasm needs its own font
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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