Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
