yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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