Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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