end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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