the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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