please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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