You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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