Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
