I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I am available for nakedness
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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