I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
