I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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