New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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