Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
