Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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