you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
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He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
