After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
