i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
