Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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