Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
