I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i think my mom watched the whole time
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
