I'm pants shitting drunk right now
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
