I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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