I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
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