I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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