had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
