i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
