i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
