i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
