Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
