I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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