do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
