I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We talked him into tasing himself.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
