just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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