He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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