The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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