About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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